Unleash the Monkey Army

Let's recap. Ever a glutton for punishment, I allowed myself to get talked into entering an indoor rowing competition.  The appeal? I'd heard they've a great atmosphere, it would give me a target to work towards and it would be a chance to chance my arm in a pond slightly bigger than my utility room! I've never been that dedicated to, or hot on the erg [indoor rower]. And over the recent years have not invested a lot of time and energy into developing my fitness. Granted, I completed the burpee year but between April and 1st June, when I started the rower ladder, I did nothing which didn't look like picking something up and putting it down again (and, in truth, precious little of that)! In fact, it was that ladder and starting the dog days of summer  that led to the suggestion being made to me. So there I was, the day after my 2nd ever Strongman event, logging on, entering my payment details before thinking "Oh nuts, what have I done now?!" (n...

When the world is chewing; casting and rolling you from side to side in its cavernous maw, it is hard to catch your breath, to seize but one moment to figure out what is going on. You feel that if you could just get your thoughts in order it would all be fine. But it won't stop. The song goes that your mother warned you that there would be days like this but while no doubt her notes on what you should do would be similarly aspirational, helpfully they are not so musically accessible. So what to do? Make time. You have to. I know that doesn't seem likely but the world is not going to stop, no matter how much we plead and beg, so we have to create the time and space for ourselves if we are to have any hope of learning anything. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then the theory goes that you probably misunderstood the situation! Possibly, but action is not the same thing as progress. Granted, philosophical contemplation for hours is also ...

Over the last several years I have spent much more time than I'd like working with people who have a hankering for the past. Like a drowning man clinging desperately to a piece of flotsam, they cling to the idea that the past was better. You know what, it might have been. But it's gone. Clinging on to it like an article of faith very rapidly changes it from a spur to restore greatness, to an albatross hanging around our necks. You can't have it back. Every actor in that screenshot has changed. In fact the stage it was played out on has changed too. If not because the stagehands have moved the scenery, then because you will now view it through today's lens made up of knowledge and insight garnered in between times. The trouble is, people tend to spend time dwelling on what they did or didn't do or else view the past through rose-tinted spectacles.And if you're in doubt as to humanity's ability to overlook the bad stuff in our past, look no further th...

I was lucky enough to get some coverage in the Bristol Post at the end of this latest burpee journey. The headline, and most of the comments I have had from people have focused on the 71,500 total burpees. The attention has been nice although a little odd since it simply doesn't feel like that big a deal. Let me clarify that. It isn't some sort of false modesty or humble brag. Truly. Firstly, the fact that I can do it, and have done it, strips the mystery away. It means that it is doable. And it is doable by the average, I would say normal but I think most people would miss the statistical nuance and focus on the fact that a predilection for burpees is anything but normal! Where was I? Oh yes, if it is doable then its achievement does not merit much more than a tick in the box and confirmatory nod. Second, I'm embarrassed by some of the suggestions of my fitness. Certainly that has inevitably improved in the last 12 months but other than that, I feel a bit of a fraud....

Welcome back! We're nearly two weeks into 2014. that means that the 12 burpees of Christmas, thankfully, over. The festive period is naught but memory, a shadow, fading but somewhat jaded by the arrival of the bank statements and credit card bills! But, her in the monkey army we're more upbeat than that, so today we'll revisit the tail-end of the Christmas period and cast an eye to the future. 12 Burpees of Christmas (Again, taking "Sets of" as read by the number) Day 8 - 8 gecko burpees.  These were surprisingly difficult. It shouldn't have been a surprise, but it was! with one leg in the air, the arms, shoulders and chest take more weight and, for somebody as stiff as me, the hip opening proves to be a little uncomfortable. Day 9 - 9 180° degree burpees. As the name suggests, a burpee with a 180° twist in mid-air on the jump. Actually, I quite enjoy these. As fatigue kicks in, stabilizing the jump/landing can be fun but otherwise...

A lot has changed in the last twelve months. But in other ways not much! This time last year I was barely more than a week away from cracking the 100-day burpee ladder. Yes, in twelve months I have not managed to kick my burpee habit! On 29th December 2012 I reached a decision about trying to round out the total reps for the 100 days to 6,000. In order to achieve that I had to amplify my daily burpee count. That day I did 250 and on the 31st I did 257. I remember feeling a) pretty pleased with myself and, b) pretty destroyed! Between that point and the end of the ladder , on January 8th, I only did more than 200 burpees twice more. A year later and I am routinely doing 280 burpees per day. And that is only extra burpees to the tune of single digits! Not only that, but because of what can best be described as another of my f£$%ing bright ideas, I am working my way through the 12 burpees of Christmas. 12 Burpees of Christmas?! Well, like the traditional carol, my tr...