An old one from the journal (October 2010)


I forget what prompted this little rantette!
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If you're being helped by somebody else do you have the right to complain about the extent of the help? I'm sure that I'm missing something here. What happened to appreciating the attempt?

I'm not saying that we ought to be snivelling, grovelling, obsequiously grateful. A recognition of the assistance would be nice. Most help isn't given in the expectation of thanks but not saying so could well promote a feeling of being taken for granted. Following close on the heels of that comes the backlash.

So next time somebody helps you, even if your pride is dented by the assistance or if you think you actually needed more, give a nod to the helping hand. Acknowledge that somebody else has lost something - even if only the opportunity to be somewhere else, doing something else - to give to you. Maybe they could have done more or given more but if it was freely given, stop complaining. Wake up to yourself! Replay what you've just said, in somebody else's voice, aimed at you. How's that work for you?

I guess it comes back to my age-old question - why are we so fixated on what we don't have, where we are not, what has not happened, what is wrong? Because we're human, all too human. Weak, fragile and fallible humans. We fight the idea that we're similar. We promote the differences and say "treat everybody the same" but want a special place reserved for ourselves. Who are we trying to kid?

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"Sir," I said to the universe, "I exist!" "That," said the universe, "creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever." Douglas Adams, Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy.

And there we have it! "I want, I want, I want". Really? Why should you have it. If the words "because" or "deserve it" or sallying forth with ill-found self-assurance, you had better have something substantive to support it!

C'est la vie!

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